he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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