I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
