A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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