he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just google imaged poop.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So much rum. So many feels.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
