everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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