Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize