I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Plan B is the new Plan A
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
