some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I need to sanitize my soul.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
