Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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