this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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