omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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