kristin has been a bad kristin
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
