so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize