Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
