no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
