I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
this hospital has no fireball
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
