I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
do herpes really smell.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize