He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize