we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
