***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
