Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I love how my cats smell like pot.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
