Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Holy shit dude........stairs
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
