You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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