My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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