Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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