I got chris browned last night
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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