Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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