So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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