Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
