lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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