Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
