she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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