We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
