Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
