your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
