dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
