I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
