In America we eat man semen.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize