the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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