I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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