I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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