Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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