he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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