I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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