Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
