Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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