"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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