I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
