People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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