My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
