are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
