so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You took a bar mat shot.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Shame - the story of my life.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
