Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
This toilet bowl is my home.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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