playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
