I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
