I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
