you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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