I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
