mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
