So drunk its hurt
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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