omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
