I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
