I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
