So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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