I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Mom said you looked used
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
