i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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