I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
