farters have to be the big spoon...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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