Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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