I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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