He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
