the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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