I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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