Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
