I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize